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Sorry, Captain …

January 25, 2014

noasskiss

The other day someone said to me, “be careful whose toes you step on; they may be connected to the ass you must kiss.”

We all got a good chuckle, but inside I died a little. Lately it’s been brought to my attention—from several different people—that I need to get better at ass-kissing. If only I could suck it up, I’d get much further in life.

Yet, I can’t help it. I don’t have it in me. Like the scorpion said to the frog: It is[n’t] my nature.

However, since there are clever sayings—like the one above about toes and asses—it must be me. The problem must be mine. But, I don’t remember be raised like that. Since when do we admire boot-lickers and brown-nosers? I’m all for humility, but when did obsequiousness become a virtue?

Then I heard the following story, and it made me feel better about my problems. I hope it will guide you too:

A ship was lost in a dark sea. Suddenly a light appears through the storm dead ahead. A man in the wheel house grabs the radio and advises the other vessels to turn 10 degrees to the north to avoid a collision.

After a moment they get this reply “I’m sorry but no. I advise you to turn 10 degrees south.”

The first man takes to the radio again and says, “Listen! This is CAPTAIN Jones, and I ORDER you to turn 10 degrees to the north.”

A moment later: “I’m sorry Captain, but this is Ensign Smith and I INSIST you turn 10 degrees south.”

Now the Captain is enraged: “Listen Ensign…” he shouts. “This is Captain Jones, and THIS is a Naval Destroyer!”

“Copy that,” says Ensign Smith, “but this is a LIGHTHOUSE.”

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One Comment
  1. sue permalink

    I am 100 years old and I am finally learning to do it…it taste bad sometimes but the trip may be shorter jury is still out on that part.

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